Tale for the Punkin Patch

Punkin,
Aunt Jean died Saturday. She had been pretty sick for some time. Meemaw was glad she got to see her last week. That only leaves Aunt Betty on Pimpaw’s side of the family. Growing up, we always saw more of that side than of Meemaw’s clan (the Lodge People). Mainly because most of them lived in the Dallas/Grand Prairie area and the Lodge People lived in East Texas. Since Pimpaw died, Betty, Jean and Meemaw have spent lots of time together. They were more like real sisters to Meemaw than in-laws.
Pimpaw had two brothers, Joe and Tom, and four sisters, Betty, Jean, Wanda, and Nelda. There was always a house full when we all got together on holidays. I had nine cousins (more if you count Tom’s mistakes). With me, Tricia, and Larry that made a dozen rug rats running around. Everybody seemed to always get along with each other. Pimpaw didn’t seem to be very close to his siblings. He moved farther west than the others and we would only see them 3 or 4 times a year.
I guess I’m the same way since I hardly ever see my sister or brother. Tricia and I were close when we were young (pre-teen) and Larry and I were good buds till I got into High School. They have both stayed close to Meemaw, so have Karen and Emily. I must have more of Pimpaw’s genes in me.
I was never close to my dad and I regret that. I can never remember having a meaningful conversation about anything with him. We didn’t do anything together and I have to blame that on him. As a kid and as a teen I saw how much fun my friend’s dads were and I missed that. Maybe that’s why I bonded with Pawpaw. He was the kind of dad I wanted.
But in Pimpaw’s defense, he didn’t know how a dad was supposed to act. His own dad, my grandfather, died when Pimpaw was only three so he really never had a dad. I, on the other hand, swore that I would be more involved in my kid’s lives and I hope I succeeded. You and Steven were my joy and I couldn’t spend enough time with you. Whether it was sports, cheerleading, dance, or just having your friends around, I thoroughly enjoyed being a dad. I used to say that being a dad was the reason I was put on earth – it was my smiling place.
Debbie was devastated when Aunt Jo died. I’ve had six sets of aunts and uncles on dad’s side and eight on mom’s. I’m not close to any of them. Over twenty cousins and I barely know them. Again, I guess I inherited lack of family closeness from my dad. I envy Jeremy and his family. They seem really tight.
The "Crane" name is in peril. Larry didn’t get married and have kids. Uncle Tom had kids out of wedlock. Steven would have had the responsibility of keeping the name going. The only branch of the Crane tree that can continue is Uncle Joe’s family. My oldest cousin, David, has a son (and maybe a grandson) so maybe they can keep it going. Maybe it’s the Irish in me, but keeping the family name alive is important. I want future generations to research their family trees and find us – the Cranes.
When your descendants study their genealogy they will be confused by the two branches of Rodriguez – Meemaw’s branch and Jeremy’s.


Aunt Jean didn’t want a funeral, not even a graveside service. She was always somewhat introverted and never wanted anyone to make a fuss over her. Debbie and I went to a viewing at the funeral home and I saw Jean’s two kids, Alan and Jana. Of course I haven’t seen them in years. Alan looked sixty but he is younger than me. My youngest cousin, Jamie was there. Everyone knew Meemaw, even Jean’s friends and former co-workers. Some of them thought Meemaw was Jean’s real sister.
Her actual name was Imogene and her husband was Arnold. What names! Joe was married to Bessie Mae. Wanda’s real name was Elwanda. Betty’s husband was Elmer. He and Arnold worked together and they were a lot of fun as they tormented us when we were young. Elmer was a lot older than Betty. In fact he was the school bus driver when she was in school. They never had kids but they were the favorite aunt and uncle to all of my cousins. They’re all gone now. Except for Betty and possibly Bessie Mae. It’s sad that I’m not sure if one of my aunts is still alive.
I haven’t even mentioned anyone on Meemaw’s side of the family. I couldn’t begin to name them all. We only saw them at Christmas. Because of the Lodge, you know them as well as I do.
Well, I know I’ve been rambling but a death in the family gives me pause for reflection. It seems like Meemaw will live forever but this August she will be 79! Pimpaw was only 64. For some reason I had no problem with 50, but 56 has been more troubling. I’m closer to sixty, and that’s old! I think it was Thoreau who said that most men go to the grave with the song still in them. Did Pimpaw leave something undone? Did Pawpaw? Steven had a whole chorus of songs that will forever remain silent.
I don’t want to leave any songs unsung. But whatever happens, my greatest legacy will always be you - my Punkin.
2008