Homey Christmas 2009

Homey Christmas - 2009

Twas a week before Christmas
And we’re in the car.
After two and a half hours
We haven’t moved far.

As the girls in the backseat
Drink holiday cheer,
I look back and ponder
The past Homey year.

We now rarely see Shirley,
Ans we haven’t seen Cecil
Since he gave her the gift of
A gallon of diesel.

And we didn’t see much
Of Leigh and of Donna.
But the one we’ll miss most
Is our Frau Blucher - Johanna.

But Terry is back after
A long time away.
We missed her desserts so
We hope she will stay.

And we welcomed some new folks
To our Homey land-
The famous Cathy and
Charlie Daniels Band.

Bob golfed with the pros
And often drew cheers.
Then he golfed with the Homeys and
...well we did get free beers.

Randy golfed also but
Why did he choose
To swing his big head as
He wore Jesus shoes.

Maureen’s feeling better but
She’s still a bit tender,
But that’s what you get when
You head-butt a fender.

And while we’re speaking of heads,
M.B. was at our place
And her head was cracked open when
She French Kissed our fireplace.

She’d been out with the girls and
They were all feeling jolly
After too many drinks at
The World known as Wally.

It’s Debbie Berney’s favorite place;
The best ritas she’s tasted.
But why must she have coffee
Every time she gets wasted?

Sally’s "Bite Me" tattoo was
really da bamb.
As was her Wally Theme Song -
"Ground Control to Major Tom".

On our road trip we saw
The world’s biggest tree.
But Harry’s Big Red Dog Belly
Was the real sight to see.

We know Kathy is outgoing,
But where does it end?
Now she goes in a restroom
And makes a new friend.

Now Lauren was supposed to
Show up in Verse Eight.
But I waited till now because
...She was late.


As for me, there’s the time
When I got out of bed.
The next thing I felt was
Great pain in my head.
The carpet beneath me was
Soon turning red.
So I grabbed some old socks
To put where it bled.
In a voice wracked with pain,
"Sally help me!" I pled.
But her biggest concern was
The carpet instead.
And despite the fact that I
Could have been dead,
"Drive yourself to the Doctor",
Was all that she said.
Now helmets are needed when
You’re at our homestead,
Or you’ll end up like me or
Like Mary Fred.

Let me now say as
This year nears its end.
If you are a Homey then
You are my friend.
Best wishes and God bless you
In 2010.

(For the past three years I have written a Christmas poem for our bible study group. The contents only make sense to those in the group.)